


Anything

by trueunicornqueen



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Amara likes Cas, Aunt and Nephew on a vacation, Cas deserves better, Cas goes on a vacation, Dean is a dick, M/M, Stop Hurting Cas 2k19
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-03 19:21:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21184661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trueunicornqueen/pseuds/trueunicornqueen
Summary: Cas walked out on Dean but now he had no idea what to do next. So he does what he has seen Sam and Dean do - Drink.(Amara shows up at Cas' motel, to protect her nephew)*Fic contains Original characters.





	Anything

**Author's Note:**

> I am not trying to trash Dean but let's face it, he has been a dick lately, especially to Cas. So this is a Cas healing fic. 
> 
> *might feel a little OOC towards the end but that is cuz Cas has changed after living with the humans. He has become more like EndVerse!Cas but in a positive way.
> 
> Cami is not the same Cami from The Originals.

Castiel had left Dean in the bunker. There was no point sticking around the people who didn’t want him there. He had no idea what to do next. For the first hour he muddled through town, which town he didn’t know, not really thinking about anything in particular. The next he regretted his decision. But he wasn’t going to go back. By the third hour he had done what he had seen Sam and Dean do when they were lost – drink.

He had been in a bar for the past two hours, drinking his way through every single thing that they had. His trench coat and suit jacket laid discarded on the back of his chair. The bartender, a lovely lady working her way through college, had asked him his story. Castiel told her everything, well as much as you, an angel, could tell a regular human about the supernatural world. When he was done telling her about how he walked away from the people who didn’t seem to care about him anymore, she had suggested that he could do whatever he wants.

“Like what?” he’d asked.

“Anything,” she said, shrugging. “I mean, I’m sure you have hobbies, painting or writing or – I don’t know, taking care of animals. You know, anything.”

The word hit him like a ton of bricks. It was like she had revealed the secrets to the universe. She was right. After millions of years, Castiel was free to do whatever he wanted, no duty, no Winchester to tell him what to do. He could do anything. The idea was something new, something foreign. It didn’t make him feel better, though. What was a soldier without orders?

Like divine prophecy he answered his question himself – A man. A regular, normal, ordinary man. It was never something Castiel had considered, a normal life. When he’d become human, his experience wasn’t the best. There were good people out there, but there were bad ones too. And with him being an angel he could easily handle them. There was nothing stopping him from going for anything.

But what would he do?

“Um…Excuse me.”

“Yeah, hon” the bartender smiled.

“If you were in my place, able to do anything, what would you do?”

“Travel.” Her eyes sparkled at the word, “Always wanted to see the world and you know one day I will.” The unbridled optimism in her voice made Castiel feel like he could do anything.

For the first time in a very, very long time, he smiled, and ordered another drink.

So ultimately he decided to travel, see the world that he had only seen from afar. The bartender, Cami was helping him pick locations.

“So you want to go to Paris, obvi. But also go to the east, Japan, India, a completely different culture. You should definitely check out the cherry blossoms in Japan and . . .” she went on and on about all the places Castiel HAD to check out. 

Castiel made a list of all the places he wanted to go on a tissue.

“What you got there?” a guy sat down beside him, he smiled, a look in his eyes that Castiel had only seen on people who thought he was attractive.

Usually Castiel would not be paying much attention to anyone else, but now he was allowed to do anything, so –

“Whiskey, I think.” Castiel turned towards the guy.

He laughed. “No, I meant that. Going on a vacation?”

“Something like that.”

“You here by yourself?”

“Pretty much.” Said Castiel solemnly.

“Girl break your heart?”

“I walked out, kinda. He didn’t trust me anymore, didn’t need me. I stuck around through heaven and hell and he couldn’t forgive me for a single mistake, mind you, a mistake I made so I could protect our son.”

“Your son.” His eyebrows raised

“He’s gone now.” Castiel pushed away the image of Jack’s dead body.

“Look man, I can’t fix all that, but if you want to not have to think about all that, even for a while, join us. You look like you could use the company.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Whenever you feel like it, man. We are here, all night.”

Castiel watched the man walk away.

“Who was that hottie?” Cami asked.

“Some guy. Wanted me to join him “have fun”.” Castiel air quoted the last two words.

“And you said no!” said Cami, incredulous.

“I said I’d think about it.”

“Go man. Forget about the Dean guy. You said you wanted to start your own life. Having fun is the only part of human life that is actually bearable. Go have fun. And should the opportunity present itself, you know.” Cami nudged and winked.

Castiel didn’t know. It would later dawn on him that Cami meant for him to have sex with the guy.

Castiel continued to drink and occasionally look over at the guy and his group of friends, watch him dance with two girls and a guy. He moved like a professional.

Castiel must have been hammered cuz he felt himself get up and march up to the guy, who was laughing with his friends. He noticed Castiel walking up to him and put his drink down.

“You came.”

“Dance with me.”

Castiel was a primordial being, how hard could dancing be?

Turns out, not all that hard. Especially when he let Will lead. And maybe this wasn’t very angelic of Castiel, but fuck all that.

There was a time when Castiel had ended up human, alone and terrified, the only thing he’d thought of was how to stay alive. But now he wanted to live, to experience all those things humans wrote songs about, all that was not angelic.

He fucking deserved it.

His near human body reacted to Will’s moves. Something he had only felt a few times and only in the presence of one specific person.

Castiel pushed Dean out of his head.

Will was all he needed right now. And so in the spirit of, well, anything. Castiel leaned down and kissed the boy in front of him. Will paused a second before he reciprocated in kind. Their mouths moved in unison, Castiel held him close, Will’s fingers buried in Castiel’ hair, his neck, his back, resting finally just above his hips.

Will pulled away, “Let’s get out of here.”

Castiel followed Will out of the bar without a thought. In fact, he stopped himself from thinking altogether. If he was thinking it meant that he might change his mind.

Will called a cab, lead him to his hotel room, all the while unable to keep his hands away from him, Castiel let him. It was rare for people to be this close to him and not intend to hurt him somehow.

“Hey what’s your name?” Will asked.

“Castiel.” He said despondently.

After which Castiel thought about the question, it wasn’t a question that people asked him and when they did it was easy to revert back to programming and telling them his name was Castiel, he’d been Castiel his whole life, but that didn’t feel right anymore, it hadn’t for a while now. Meg had fondly called him Clarence, an alias he had used before. Dean and Sam called him Cas, that name felt like somewhere he belonged. Until now.

So who was he?

“I don’t know.” He mumbled under his breath.

“Huh?”

“Nothing.”

Putting on his coat he began to head out.

“Castiel,” he paused, looking back, “you look better without the coat on.” Will winked at him and climbed out of bed, still in his underwear. Walked up to him and removed his coat. Then he led Castiel to the full body mirror, “See.”

Castiel hadn’t ever thought about that. About the way he looked, he didn’t have to. He was an angel of the lord, his job was to protect humanity and follow orders, his appearance never really factored into the whole thing.

And now that he was doing it, looking at himself, he looked tired, worn out. But Will was right. He did look better without his trench coat.

“You’re right, Will.”

Castiel turned around and kissed him. Why? Cuz he could. Cuz he wanted to.

“See you around?” Will asked.

“Someday.” Castiel smiled and kissed him again, a short, simple kiss.

Castiel spent the rest of the day at a library making plans. Places he’d visit, things he would like to do. He looked through the internet, he’d seen Sam and Dean use computers and had picked up things along the way. Hell, he booked a flight to France for the very next day.

He printed the plane ticket then and there. Later that day he booked a motel room and he laid on the bed watching TV. Humans did that, right?

He had been scrolling through TV channels for an hour, pausing to look at something that seemed interesting, when someone knocked at his door.

Castiel didn’t think much of it and opened the door.

“Dean - ” Dean pushed through Castiel, into the room before he could say anything, and started pacing.

Castiel wanted to heal whatever it was that had Dean in such a frenzy, he’d wanted that for a long time, a base instinct, one would call it. He almost reached out. But the words echoed in his head again.

_Why is that something always seem to be you?_

He stopped himself. It had only been two days since he had walked out on Dean, but the tear that had formed in their profound bond was older than that. And Castiel had put up with it cuz Dean always came back, saw sense, and he learned to trust Castiel again. And for days Castiel thought that Dean would come back around. However he realized that wasn’t the case anymore, Dean wasn’t ready or willing to forgive him anymore.

“What are you doing here Dean?” he asked the man.

Dean paused at that, turned to him, “How dare you, Cas?!” Dean pointed a finger at him, raging all the way through. It caught Castiel a bit off guard. “How could you just leave?”

“That’s not fair, Dean” Castiel tried his best to stay calm. How could Dean accuse Castiel of leaving when he was the one who rejected him? Told him he was the problem. He was the one thing that goes wrong. Did Dean expect him to just stay there and take it?

“You don’t get to leave Cas.”

“Why? Give me one good reason I should stay. You said it yourself, you don’t trust me anymore, you blame me for Mary and Jack and you can’t even look at me. So why should I stay? Why? Huh? For you? The man I gave up so much for who can’t even talk to me for more than three sentences, who can’t look at me?” Castiel realized he was yelling. So be it. He’d walked out calmly so as to not cause any more pain than there need be, but if Dean was going to follow him to the ass end of nowhere and expect him to go back with him after all he’d done then Castiel was willing to rip Dean a new one.

“Because I need you, Cas. How could you not know that by now? Other than Sam you are the only one I can’t imagine my life without.” He collapsed on the bed, rubbing a palm across his face.

“Cas,” his voice was small, a little broken, “I . . . I am a mess right now. So much has happened, so quickly and -. Look I’ve lost a lot of people, so have you, I don’t want us to lose each other.”

‘I don’t either Dean’ he thought.

Castiel calmed himself down, “Maybe we do. Maybe we need time apart to figure out who we are.” He tried to console Dean.

“I can’t, Cas.” A tear dropped down to Dean’s jeans, and he refused to look up.

Castiel’s heart broke from the pain in Dean’s voice. He’d give anything to make the man not feel the pain. Anything. And he could. He could go back with him. Dean needed him, needed to feel safe. And that was what Castiel was made for, wasn’t he? What he’d done for so long.

Maybe a little more time won’t hurt.

“Dean,” he put a hand on Dean’s shoulder, “perhaps…”

Before he could say another word, the motel door flew open.

Both of them were on their feet and ready to fight in an instant.

“Hello boys.” Out of the darkness came Amara. She looked different. She had changed her hair, it was red now. The suit that she wore was a far cry from the dress she had spent a year in.

“What do you want?” asked Castiel.

“Where is Chuck?” asked Dean.

“Chuck is holed up somewhere, running from you. He visited me begging for help and I told him to shove it. I am really hoping you take care of that.”

“What?”

“Oh Dean, you don’t know. Your brother is connected to Chuck, the bullet, and Chuck is weak.”

“So why don’t you do it? You seemed really eager last time.”

Amara smiled sardonically. “I’ve changed. Besides I’m not here for you.” Before Dean could say anything else Amara raised a finger to shut him up, “I’m here for my nephew. I saw what you did Dean, and turns out I can’t stand people who think they are entitled to something or someone, so, Castiel,” Amara turned to him, “What do you say? Leave here with me and we can go see the world together.”

“Why?”

“Cuz Dean is a dick and you deserve better.”

“Cas,” Dean said, “You can’t, man.”

“Why not?” Amara spat. “I’ve been watching you since Chuck visited me. And you know, you say you hate him, but you are just like him. Always thinking that your actions have no consequences on other people. Charlie, Kevin, Jo –“

“Enough.”

“What it hurts your feelings, Dean? All those people sacrificed for your mistakes. And Cas,” Amara turned to look at him for a second before she continued, “he has sacrificed the most off all of them, and you don’t even know it.” Cas’ heart skipped a beat, how did Amara know? “He doesn’t deserve to be treated like this, and you and your brother have the toxic codependent thing between yourselves and Cas is always left the one sacrificing. So no more. I’m here to take him with me.”

“So what do you say, Cas?”

Cas didn’t have to think, Amara was right, he’d spent so much of his time on Earth for the Winchesters and when time came, when something he did affected them, they abandoned him. He had never had an existence outside of duty and then the Winchesters, it was time he did.

“Yes.” He declared with a finality.

“Good.” Amara smirked and waved her hand. They were in some high end hotel room.

“What do you want to do, then?” she asked, landing on the bed, removing her shoes.

“I have a question first.”

“Shoot.”

“Why do you care, about me I mean?”

“Cuz Cas you and I are much alike. We both loved people who didn’t love us back. Me and Chuck. You and Dean.” She said it playfully, nothing like the Darkness. This was Amara, not an ancient being of enormous power, but just another person.

“So, Cas, what is it?”

Cas thought about it a second. He still wanted to travel. So he said it. “Travel. I want to travel.”

“Ooo to where. The Bahamas, Bali, South Africa, let me tell you . . .”

“France,” kind eyes of a blonde girl smiled at him from a memory, “then Japan and London, maybe even some quite English village.”

“You have given it some thought.” Amara smiled at him, a softness to her he had never expected to see. “I’ll get the paperwork done tomorrow and then we can go.”

“Paperwork?” Asked Castiel.

“I know, I could just hop over there, but I like to do it the human way, and it’s not like either of us is going anywhere. Drink?”

They spent the next week together in France. Amara taught him how to handle the human aspects of, well, everything. She had become quite the expert. He no longer wore his suit, instead going for more trending looks, just a plain long sleeve T shirt and jeans. Amara also introduced him to social media, “All the humans have one,” she said.

So Cas now Instagramed, and he twitted and he watched videos on YouTube, TV shows and movies on Netflix.

Being human was good.

After a week though, Amara told him she had to go back home. She gave him money and helped him understand his bank account (Cas already knew that) and booked him a ticket to Japan.

Cas thought he’d go to London after that, but he ended up visiting India, The Taj Mahal, all the numerous temples with brilliant architecture, the tombs of the Mughal Kings. Sharing everything on his social media. People started to follow him, they liked and commented on his posts, mostly about how attractive he was but others about their experience in the places he visited, some even daydreaming about doing it.

He was in India a whole month before he decided to go to London. He met up with Amara there, they had lunch together and made plans for a night out in town.

By nine they were at a pub, talking and drinking. She told him about her new life and he talked about his.

“So I am in India, right…” Cas paused, Amara wasn’t paying attention, instead she was looking over at something over his shoulder. “What is…” Cas turned around, on the other side of the pub was Will, being his charming self.

“You know him Cas? He keeps looking over at you.”

“Um. Yeah. That’s Will. And now he is coming over.” Cas didn’t know what to do, he turned to Amara who kept looking at Will.

“Hey, Castiel, right?” Amara almost spat out her drink at how awkwardly Cas turned around to face his one night stand.

“Hey, Will.” He said.

“You sound different, mate.”

“Oh! That’s cause he got rid of his toxic boyfriend.” Amara intervened. “I’m Amara, by the way.”

“Will.”

“So Will, how do you know Cas?”

“Um . . .” Will was lost for words. It took a few moments but it finally clicked to Cas that Will might think that Amara was his girlfriend. And maybe Amara had the same idea. “I’m his aunt by the way, only in relation, we are more like friends, lately.” She turned to Cas to have him confirm her words.

“Yea, like friends.” He turned his eyes up to look at Will, “And I slept with him, the night before you barged into my motel room.

“Nice work, Cas.” They both must have cringed cause right after that she said, “I’m gonna be not here.” And left.

“So what you been up to?” Will asked. “Travelled that list you were making?”

“Actually yes. I did.”

“Really!”

“Yep.” Cas showed Will the pictures of all the places he’d visited, people he’d met. They talked and laughed and drank. Once or twice Cas’d check around for Amara who would be dancing with someone, and last he check she was heading out of the bar with some guy.

“Seems like you’ve been busy.”

“Well, what about you? You must be up to something interesting as well.”

“Um . . . my mother is about to open up a restaurant tomorrow here in London. You know what, you should come.”

“Wha . . . I couldn’t”

“You can. I’m inviting you, and your aunt-friend. Please Cas come.”

Cas had been having adventures lately and this would be an adventure too. “Yes.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I’m coming to you restaurant opening.”

“I’ll text you the address. You know, Cas, truth be told, I haven’t been able to forget about you all this time. I know it sounds silly and like a romantic, sappy movie, but Cas, what we had, was, almost angelic.”

Cas smiled. The word didn’t hurt anymore, in fact it had no effect on him. He hadn’t used his powers since he’d left with Amara, he didn’t need to. Being human was perfectly fine with him. And maybe he need the romantic, sappy kind of person in his life.

The next day, Will’s mother’s restaurant opening went smoothly and with flying colors. Turns out Will was the only child of the Baker family of London, they had restaurant chains all over the world. Ironically the only thing they didn’t actually make was baked goods.

The food was mouthwatering, the decorations breathtaking. They mingled with the high class crowd of London. Amara had a plan for it - they were the Novak family of Vancouver, they made their wealth buying and selling properties and they did anonymous donations to various causes.

Once the party had died down a bit, everyone had met everyone else, Will led him to a room somewhere in the building, pushed him up against the door and kissed him. Cas kissed back, already pulling off his jacket.

Will pulled back. “Hey, before we, um, you know, what are you?”

Cas didn’t understand the question. He frowned, his brows knit together, head tilted.

“I mean, you are, phew, you are amazing but something tells me you are not entirely human. And nothing wrong with that, I’m a witch, by the way, but you, you’re something else.”

“I’m an angel.”

“Wow. Really?” Cas nodded. “Um. I had sex with an angel.”

“Wanna do it again?” Will nodded, “Then shut up.” Cas smiled and kissed him leading him to the bed, removing his jacket in the process.


End file.
